Dream Killers (And How to Overcome Them)

There are many things that fuel a person’s dreams and passions, and most of us start out strong in running after those dreams and passions. We make plans and goals, and we dream big and envision what the end goal will look like. If you’re anything like me, the excitement and motivation doesn’t last too long.

I have dreams and goals that never came to fruition because I would get discouraged, distracted, or disillusioned:

  1. Discouraged
    I would allow those negative self-talk to stop me from continuing the tasks required in order for me to get one step closer to achieving my goals. I would tell myself, “It didn’t work before,” “You don’t have the discipline to stick with it,” or “You’re not talented/smart enough.”
  2. Distracted
    I would lose sight of my dreams by focusing on tasks that wouldn’t bring me closer to achieving the goal. For example, when I was writing my first book, I would often get tempted to blow off my writing times that I had already scheduled into my day so that I can meet up with friends for lunch or go bargain-hunting at different stores (I usually ended up not getting anything anyway).
  3. Disillusioned
    I found that novelty wears off on everything. Once we see past the “glamour” of a dream, what we’re often left with is all the behind-the-scenes things that aren’t enjoyable. When I co-owned an aerial yoga studio in Dallas about 5 years ago, I was in charge of the operations, training/staffing and payroll. There’s a lot more to owning a brick and mortar business than just showing up to work everyday.
“A goal without a plan is just a wish”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

As I mentioned in my last week’s blog, it’s important to know WHY we do what we do. Without having a concrete reason why we want to achieve that dream, it is highly unlikely that we will succeed. But even with knowing our WHY to our WHAT, we must come up with a plan that will help achieve our dreams and goals. Through experiences, trial and error (and through my former training as a project manager), I’ve learned to always do the following five things to set myself up for success:

  1. Write it down
    Dreams and goals must be written down on paper to make it official and real.
  2. Set a completion date
    Without a completion date set, you won’t be able to manage the next two steps (#3 & #4).
  3. Set milestones within the time frame
    These are small accomplishments within the goal. For example, when I was going through the planning phase of writing my first book, I knew I was going to start writing my book in March and have it published by the beginning of October. So my milestones were to finish writing the book by August 1st, finish editing by September 1st, finish creating the book cover by September 15th, and have it published by October 1st. After meeting each milestone, I celebrated by taking my family out to dinner.
  4. Set tasks within each milestone
    From March to July, I blocked out two hours of writing time twice a week  and even took a week-long sabbatical so that I can focus on getting as much writing as I can. I also scheduled all the interviews as well as the photo shoot for my book (the photo shoot took place in Atlanta, GA and at my home in Charlotte, NC) during that time frame. I dedicated the entire month of August to editing my book over a dozen times (In hindsight, I would never recommend editing your own book even if you’re an editor like me. I will cover this topic in next week’s blog). I finished creating the book cover in one week (I’m good at graphic design, but it still was not an easy task).
  5. Identify the required resources for each task
    As you write down the tasks required within each milestone, it’s important to figure out what you will need to complete the tasks. For example, I knew I needed to be away from my house whenever I would write because there were too many distractions at home (comfy couch, cute dog, my awesome family, Netflix, etc.); so I became a regular at the local library and Panera Bread twice a week. To prepare for my writing times, I would make sure I took my ear plugs so that I wouldn’t get distracted from conversations going on around me. I always took a jacket or a big scarf in case it got cold inside. So my resources during my writing times were my laptop, ear plugs and jacket/big scarf.
“Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.”
William A. Ward

Dream big and plan accordingly!

 

With Gratitude,
output-onlinepngtools (10)

SIGN UP FOR MY MONTHLY NEWSLETTER FOR GIVEAWAYS, ANNOUNCEMENTS AND WELLNESS-RELATED INFO!

Go back

Your message has been sent

Warning
Warning

Warning.

FOLLOW JHENI ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

FB Facebook
IG Instagram
TwitterTwitter
LinkedIn LinkedIn

What is your “Why?”

“I believe it’s very important to remember your WHY because it fuels your WHAT.”
Keegan Leiba, Actor/Model/Talent Coach

Two weeks ago, I had my official book launch party. For several hours leading up to the event, I had one text message after another from people letting me know that they couldn’t make it anymore.  I must admit, I struggled with discouragement for a few minutes before I reminded myself that the book launch party was not the end goal. The end goal was to obey God by finishing my book which was already accomplished; so anything else related to the book (book promotions, book events) were all just icing on the cake. Once I changed my perspective, I felt at peace about my event.

How often do we allow challenging situations to discourage us or get us off-focused from our dreams and goals? I don’t know a single person who hasn’t struggled with wanting to give up or to second guess their decision to pursue their dreams. Sometimes we can even become paralyzed with fear of failure which prevents us from persevering through the tough times.

“The best view comes after the hardest climb.”
– Author Unknown

When we’re climbing the steepest mountains in life, we do not see the view which awaits us. This is when we want to quit climbing and just descend down back to the ground. It is at this very point that we must remember the “WHY” in what we do. When we fix our eyes on our end goal and the reasons behind it, all the steps leading up to that “best view” will become more bearable… and we will have grown in our character along the way which will allow us to have the gratitude and the ability to appreciate that view.

Oh and by the way, my book launch event was amazing!  

 

I would love to hear about your “why” to your dreams and goals!

 

With Gratitude,
output-onlinepngtools (10)

 

SIGN UP FOR MY MONTHLY NEWSLETTER FOR GIVEAWAYS, ANNOUNCEMENTS AND WELLNESS-RELATED INFO!

Go back

Your message has been sent

Warning
Warning

Warning.

 

FOLLOW JHENI ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

FB Facebook
IG Instagram
TwitterTwitter
LinkedIn LinkedIn

Be. Here. Now.

My last week’s blog post was about how life seems to move at the speed of light. As promised, this blog post is an elaboration of my statement, “When we get in the mode of constantly DOING, we forget to live our lives in the present moment.”

Why is it so hard for us to live in the present? Why do we have such a difficult time just BEING instead of DOING? I believe part of the reason is due to our desire for control.

“There are only two days in a year that nothing can be done.
One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow,
so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.”
Dalai Lama

Even for those “two days” that we can not control, we spend so much time trying to fix things that have already happened (yesterday) and control the future outcome (tomorrow). This creates a sense of constant movement both physically and mentally.

“Even if we are able to physically stop moving, our minds are
constantly thinking, problem-solving, organizing, worrying,
rationalizing, irrationalizing, regretting and dwelling.”

Excerpt from my book, Be Still: The Power of Biblical Meditation

Each week, I teach several styles of yoga classes (group and private classes), ranging from physically challenging to restorative and passive, longer-holds. Can you guess which one has a bigger attendance? (If you guessed the more physically challenging yoga class, you are correct!) As human beings, we’re drawn to things that create more imbalance within ourselves. The more driven you are, the more you will be drawn to activities that keep you in constant motion. When was the last time you stopped and experienced the present? When was the last time you consciously stopped your mind from regretting the past or worrying about the future?

“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”
Luke 12:25

According to Luke 12:25, we can not add more hours to our lives by worrying. In fact, worrying is robbing us of our time, energy, joy, and even our health. So if worrying robs our lives (potentially shortening it), then perhaps the opposite is true: Not worrying (and BEING present) could extend our lives!

As a Yoga and Meditation Teacher, I have been trained to teach others how to be present. One of the most rewarding moments for me is when a student of mine experiences a self-transformation through becoming still. One of the practices that I teach my students is counting their breaths. It may sound funny, but I invite you to give it a shot with the following recorded practice (this one is pretty short) which is one of many techniques I have recorded for my book:


Next time you find your mind regretting or worrying, make a conscious decision to stop and experience the present.

Be. Here. Now.
With Gratitude,

output-onlinepngtools (10)

SIGN UP FOR MY MONTHLY NEWSLETTER FOR GIVEAWAYS, ANNOUNCEMENTS AND WELLNESS-RELATED INFO!

Go back

Your message has been sent

Warning
Warning

Warning.

Life at the Speed of Light

I’ve heard many adults say, “Life just gets faster and faster as you get older.” When I was a kid, I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. I remember waiting — what seemed like forever — for my summer vacation to begin, only to start counting down the days to the first day of school (because I missed seeing most of my classmates). Those long days of summer seemed to go on and on. 

Now that I’m in my mid-40’s (45 to be exact) running my own business as a yoga & meditation teacher, fitness instructor and an author, I see more and more of what “those adults” were talking about. For example, in a single day last week, I taught 2 yoga classes, trained a client, ran errands, spent time with one of the teen girls that I mentor, drove my daughter and her friend to the mall, went to a church midweek service and spent some time on my writing afterwards. In the midst of doing one thing after another all day, I can tend to think to myself, “Where did the day go?” Life is passing by faster than the speed of light… or is it?

Growing up in Los Angeles, I was able to go to a lot of cool places. Once of my absolute favorite places in Southern California is called Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa in Corona, CA. It’s a true day spa where you pay an entrance fee and you can stay there all day relaxing by the pool, enjoying one of their add-on spa services, taking advantage of everything or doing absolutely nothing. On that particular trip to Glen Ivy, I chose to do the latter. I spent part of that day lying on one of their poolside chaise, underneath a bunch of palm trees (here are the pictures I took while lying down):

 

I did not have anything else to do other than to just relax and feel the gentle breeze while the palm trees provided just the perfect amount of shade on this beautiful summer day in California. I remember this feeling of peace as I experienced how

TIME. STOOD. STILL.

I feel as if God allowed me to experience that day so that I can capture that moment in my heart as a constant reminder to slow down and just experience BEING as opposed to DOING.

When we get in the mode of constantly DOING, we forget to live our lives in the present moment. I encourage you to try sitting/lying still, listening to your breath, and simply be present. Perhaps this is the way we can prevent life passing by us at the speed of light.

I will elaborate on this concept of BEING PRESENT on next week’s blog!

 

With Gratitude,

output-onlinepngtools (10)

SIGN UP FOR MY MONTHLY NEWSLETTER FOR GIVEAWAYS, ANNOUNCEMENTS AND WELLNESS-RELATED INFO!

Go back

Your message has been sent

Warning
Warning

Warning.

Theme for October: Overcoming Fear

“There is no illusion greater than fear.”
Lao Tzu

Every month in my Yoga classes, we work around a certain theme. The yoga practices that I put together for these classes are created with that goal in mind. I use the principles of Vinyasa Krama (not to be confused with Vinyasa Yoga). Vinyasa Krama is translated as “wise progression” or “intelligent sequencing.”

Vinyasa = Synchronizing Breath and Movement
Krama – Orderly/Wise Action

Every asana (the physical postures in Yoga) included in the practice is there for a specific reason. So with this intention, we’re working on creating a sense of empowerment (twist poses), being reminded to stay grounded and true to our authenticity and love (standing poses and heart-opening back bending poses).

Our apex/peak asana for this month is Camatkarasana (Miracle Pose, also known as “Wild Thing”) for my Monday morning class at Keith Family YMCA and for my Wednesday morning classes at IM=X Pilates & Fitness, Urdhva Dhanurasana (Wheel Pose – demonstrated below by one of my former aerial yoga students, Danielle Bisheit).

October Apex Poses.png

For the students who are working up to these asanas, I always provide modifications (I advise them to skip the Wheel Pose and stay on their knee for Miracle Pose/Wild Thing):

 


lines Getting Personal lines

I find myself being driven by fear and guilt. I will complete a task because “if I don’t, I will feel guilty.” I’m not this way all the time; in fact, when I spend some great quality time in “The Word” (aka The Bible), meditation, and conversations with God (aka prayer), I am more inclined to do things out of love. I feel more compelled to live out my authenticity.

Recently, I noticed that I was feeling defeated at the end of each day. I felt like I was not productive because I didn’t get everything done that I planned on completing that day <insert guilt here>. Just as a point of reference, this was a typical day:

Screenshot 2019-10-13 17.17.37

After that realization of feeling defeated, I prayed one morning for God to help me get everything done that day. And then — as I always do — I sat still and waited for God to speak to me. He revealed to me that I had way too many things that I wanted to accomplish each day. It may have worked when I was nineteen with no aches and pains, full of energy and when multi-tasking was a way of life. That is no longer me. So I changed my prayer request. I asked God to reveal the things I didn’t need to do that day. Sure enough, things started getting cancelled out of my schedule. Instead of filling those open slots with something else, I used those times to do things I enjoyed: I read, I took extra walks around the neighborhood, I listened to podcasts, I baked, etc.

I love my new schedule. Setting myself up for success feels awesome! I ask for more help from friends (instead of driving my daughter and her friends to places, I ask one of the moms if they can pick-up if I drop-off) and family (which they are always more than happy to help out). I try to multi-task less so that I can give my full attention and energy to a single task.

So back to overcoming fear: What you think is your fear may not actually be the source of it. In my case, the source of my fear wasn’t not being able to doing more but rather the fear of not being enough which is a total lie from the enemy:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
John 10:10

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
Ephesians 2:10

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”
Romans 8:37

Don’t believe the lies. Most of the things we fear are lies, an illusion that will most likely not even happen anyway.

With Gratitude,

output-onlinepngtools (10)

Click here to find out more about my new book, Be Still: The Power of Biblical Meditation

My First Post in FOUR YEARS because…

Today is October 11, 2019. It’s been almost FOUR YEARS since I’ve posted a blog. In the beginning on 2016, I wrote a blog titled, “What a Difference a Year Makes, Pt. 2” (Part 1 was written and posted on 8/12/15). In these posts, I did a short recap on my life since the last time I posted. Each of these “recap posts” ended with an intention (to myself) to post regularly; however, I did not follow through in 2015 or in 2016. Throughout the months and years in between, I battled feeling like a failure. In the back of my mind, I thought that I was just too lazy to have the discipline to do this; but I recently realized that I was wrong.

As long as I can remember, I struggled with self-doubt. Growing up in Los Angeles, there was always someone prettier/smarter/funnier/more talented than me. The Korean Culture that I grew up in was (and is still) filled with comparisons to someone prettier/smarter/funnier/more talented. I thought as an adult, I had “grown out” of this, but unfortunately, self-doubt isn’t something you just grow out of like a pair of shoes. It is something you have to tackle with full intention.

I recently wrote and self-published a book called, “Be Still: The Power of Biblical Meditation.” It is a book filled with breathing techniques, biblical meditation techniques (audio links to the techniques are included), scriptural yoga practice, stories from my life as well as the lives of others (Chapter 5 contains stories from brave souls who have used biblical meditation as one of the ways to overcome daily stress, child abuse, divorce, remarriage, etc.). It was such a wonderful experience, but it forced parts of my self-doubt to surface over and over again.

One of the biggest things I had to overcome was the self-doubt of authenticity.  The common question I battled regularly during that time was, “Am I qualified to write this book?”  According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word qualified is defined as, “fitted (as by training or experience) for a given purpose. 

Qualified: (adj.) fitted (as by training or experience) for a given purpose

So I had to ask myself, “Am I fit — by training and experience — to write this book?” I knew the answer was YES! Through years of training in and experiencing Yoga, Ayurveda, Meditation and Energy Science as well as biblically living out what I learned at the feet of some amazing Bible Teachers and Ministers, I knew I was fit by training and experience.

Writing this book was therapeutic and so needed. I feel that I have grown in my vulnerability through the things I wrote about myself which allows me to live a more authentic life. 

As I end this post, I am setting the intention within myself to blog more often with unapologetic authenticity.

 

With Gratitude,
Jheni Sig.png

 

SIGN UP FOR MY MONTHLY NEWSLETTER FOR GIVEAWAYS, ANNOUNCEMENTS AND WELLNESS-RELATED INFO!

 

 

 

Go back

Your message has been sent

Warning
Warning

Warning.

 

FOLLOW JHENI ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

FB Facebook
IG Instagram
TwitterTwitter
LinkedIn LinkedIn

 

Be Happy

Recently, I read a book called “My Story” which is about Elizabeth Smart, the woman who was abducted and horrifically abused for 9 months when she was 14 years old.  It was such a gut-wrenching and heart-breaking story which has a happy ending, but I couldn’t help but to imagine what I would’ve done in her shoes.  Would I have been as strong as she was?  Would I have been able to survive the ordeal and move on?  Would I be able to forgive for my own sake?  I wrestled with these questions in my head over and over again as I continued to read page after page of her story.  I wondered how she was able to go on to live a “normal” life after something so traumatic (she got married in 2012).  As I neared the end of the book, I read something that changed everything for me.


“He has stolen nine months of your life that you will never get back. But the best punishment you could ever give him is to be happy.”

– Lois Smart (to her daughter Elizabeth)


After pondering over these two sentences, I started to think about my own life.  There are so many things in my past that I wish I could’ve done different.  Don’t get me wrong, I have very few regrets because all of my mistakes, bad decisions (as well as good decisions) have shaped me to be who I am today.  But there have been times when I held on to bitterness toward certain people for way too long.  When I stay bitter, it robs me of my joy, my happiness.

Not that my intention is to punish people that have wronged me in the past (I don’t feel bitter towards those people anymore), but I want to live my life in a way that I don’t let other people’s actions rob me of even a minute of my life.

Here are a few ways I’ll be working on being happy:

    1. Pray for Others More – When I pray for others, I tend to grow in my appreciation for my own life.  Also, according to The Psychology of Happiness and Well-Being, praying for others has been found to decrease stress level and increase happiness in the one doing the praying.
    2. Forgive Quicker – When I forgive, I feel less burdened with negative emotions.  It’s been found (by Mayo Clinic) that forgiveness can lead to healthier relationships and higher self-esteem among many other benefits.
    3. Count My Blessings – 5 months into her captivity, Elizabeth Smart started making a mental list of the things she was grateful for: “I still believe in God,” “I know that Jesus was the Savior of the world,” “Jesus was near. He keeps me strong and gives me hope,” “I still have a family. I don’t get to be with them, but someday I will.” She had several more on her list, and she finished with, “I kept adding to my list of blessings until I eventually fell asleep.”
      (If she can count her blessings in the midst of such a devastating situation, I have no excuse.)

There are so many more things that I can add to my list, but I will focus on these three.

Now let’s go and BE HAPPY!

What a Difference a Year Makes… Pt. 2

Happy 2016!

It’s been many MANY months since I’ve blogged.  Honestly, “LIFE happened” in more ways than one in 2015.

Last year this time, I was teaching at the aerial yoga studio that I co-owned with two business partners in Plano, TX.  I was also busy getting the second semester of my daughter’s homeschooling academic year started with lots of wonderful homeschool activities and co-ops.  My schedule was extremely packed with church, family, homeschool, my studio and yoga. Everything (including sleep time and short breaks) were scheduled into my life. I had a full life, living life to the full… or was I?

I strive to live an authentic life, a life that reflects who I was created to be since the beginning of time. In 2015, I felt that although I was living my dreams, but something wasn’t right. I felt unsettled in my heart, and I began to wonder if the path (of life) that I was trying to create for myself was truly the path that I was supposed to be on.


“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of
who we think we’re supposed to be and
embracing who we are.”

– Brené Brown


After feeling unsettled in my heart for the first half of 2015, I began to meditate in prayer, asking God to reveal who I am to Him. Without talking to anyone about it, I started this meditative prayer journey, seeking clarity of my spirit. During this time, my business partners and I received word from our landlord informing us that he has sold his business and the new owner did not want to renew our lease (as he wanted to use our space for his own business). We diligently searched for a new location (even after we had to close the doors to our studio in Plano, TX) without success. Then one Saturday during my meditative prayer times, I felt a sense of peace come over me as I decided to let go of the studio and not re-open (My business partners had the same revelation on the same day), Up until that point, I resisted the thought of not re-opening. I thought to myself, “Finally, I have arrived at my authentic path!” What I was about to find out was that this was only the beginning.


“Once you get out of your own way,
the speed of finding your authenticity will accelerate.”
– Jheni Solis


To my surprise, I continued to feel unsettled… So I continued my meditative prayer times and searching for clarity through God’s word. During this time, I saw on Facebook that my husband Shawn’s and my good friends, Tim and Brooke, were moving to Boone, NC to start a church there. That same week, I noticed in the Bible how a lot of God’s people moved around a lot. I thought about the possibility of moving for a split second but then dismissed it since we had just bought our house a year ago. We had our lives planned out and that plan included retiring in our home in Garland, TX. But each time I prayed, I couldn’t shake that feeling of unsettled-ness and how our lives became too comfortable/predictable. So one night when Shawn got home from work, I decided to bring it up to him to see what he would say.

“I’ve been feeling quite unsettled myself,” was Shawn’s reply.

So we started to pray about the possibility of moving (still not taking it too seriously). To put our prayer into action, we decided to list our house and told God that if it sold it one week, we will know He wants us to move. Our house sold in exactly SEVEN DAYS!

Fast-forwarding many more bold (answered) prayers and seeking spiritual input from our trusted godly friends, I am now writing this in my rented home in Charlotte, NC. I get to wake up every morning and make breakfast for my daughter (that I still homeschool) and my husband who now works from home. I teach traditional and aerial yoga at a wonderful studio in Cornelius called Gotta Yoga Studio where I also teach my aerial yoga teacher training certification workshops. I also choreograph and dance with the dance ministry at The Charlotte Church.

When people ask me what brought me and my family to Charlotte, I smile and reply, “God.”

A lot can happen in one year. A lot can happen in 2016.
Are you ready?

What a difference a year makes… Pt. 1

Since my last blog (over a year ago!), I opened an aerial yoga studio, became a Fabletics Master (more on that next time), taught 4-12 classes per week (can we say burn-out?), continued to homeschool my daughter, started my advanced yoga studies with my teacher Shanon, launched my first yoga retreat in St. Croix (there’s still room!), got licensed to teach CIZE LIVE, enrolled in a Fundamental Neuroscience Certificate Course… and closed my aerial yoga studio (that’s another topic I’ll blog about in the future)!

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned (and continue to learn) through Yoga/Meditation/Prayer is that unless you’re walking in the path that you were meant to be on, you can not truly soar and live life to the full.  I spent the past year digging deeper, weeding out deep-rooted seeds of negativity, growing in my security in who God has created me to be… the list goes on and on.  What’s really cool is that when you start walking in the path that you’re supposed to be on, everything begins to fall into place in a way that you never imagined possible.

I’m about to embark on another year of homeschooling my daughter, traveling to teach the aerial yoga instructor certification that I’ve created, teaching yoga classes, and leading Fabletics-sponsored yoga/fitness workshops.

It’s so easy for me to plan far ahead… so let me reel myself back in to this moment and just say… It’s amazing what difference a year can make!

Namaste,
Jheni

Yoga Teacher Training – Weekend #7

Wow, it’s almost as if I’ve fallen off the face of the earth!

After Yoga Teacher Weekend #6, life got extremely hectic and I just couldn’t keep up with my blog. There were 6 more weekends, and in between Weekend #7 and Exam Weekend, the number of fitness classes I was teaching went from 2 to 8 along with selling our home and moving into a temporary dwelling place… and I was rear-ended by a pizza delivery boy who was driving 40 mph!  I was able to finish my contact and non-contact hours to graduate the training with close to 230 hours and 97% on my written exam.

As part of our exam, we had to each create and teach a short yoga practice with an assigned theme from our teacher.  We were evaluated by our peers as well as our teacher, and everyone did well.

Since becoming a 200-Hr Yoga Teacher, I’ve been teaching 2-4 yoga classes per week, and scaled back to 2 fitness classes a week.  I’ve also had the privilege of leading over 200 women in yoga at two different women’s events, a private yoga class for PepsiCo… and I got certified to teach Aerial Yoga (yoga on aerial hammocks).  I’ve been co-teaching and assisting in aerial yoga workshops out of town, but I’m about to launch my own aerial yoga workshops here in Dallas.

We’re getting ready to (finally) move into a house that we’ll be buying (we’re under contract) in a location closer to everything my family and I do (our old house was rather far from a lot of the activities we were involved in)… My next blog will contain some things that I’ve learned about myself and others through my journey in Yoga.

So until next time… May your days be bright and your heart be light! Namaste.