Deactivating an Emotional Bomb

Enneagram is a personality typing that  dives deep into one’s core motivations, fears, passions (tendencies that get you farther away from your authenticity), etc.  I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts about enneagrams (my favorites are Typology, Your Enneagram Coach, and The Enneagram Journey), but the other day, I decided to watch a YouTube video by a personality typing coach who I haven’t heard of before… and half way into it, I regretted my decision.

She started out with some great information (which I had already learned from my personal enneagram studies), but then she started to make harsh comments about a certain enneagram type.  Her tone was very condescending and downright mean.  She even went on to say that she knows she’s harder on Type 4s because of some character things that she sees in herself that are Type 4 characters and that it makes her mad and frustrated.  I kept on watching, hoping that she would turn it around… but it just kept getting more and more offensive to me, so I stopped watching it.  I was so upset that I could feel a knot forming at the center of my chest.  I had to stop everything I was doing and become still to do some inner work:

1.  BREATHING PATTERNS DON’T LIE

I closed my eyes and focused on becoming present:  I allowed myself to become aware of the ground underneath my feet that supports my entire body up to stand.  I then moved on to the awareness of my breath.  I felt the cool air going in to my nostrils and then going out of my nostrils.  I created an evenness in my breathing (inhales become the same length as the exhales), and then focused on the rise and fall of my belly while I consciously stopped my shoulders and chest rising each time I inhaled. (When we’re under any type of stress, our sympathetic nervous system gets activated and increases the cortisol level; these factors cause our bodies to become tense and start taking shallow breaths in the chest and not the diaphragm.)  Next, I placed my hands over my heart to send it energy of healing.  (The power of visualization is quite amazing.)  Lastly, I breathed in God’s Words in Philippians 4:6, as I chanted silently: (Inhale) “Peace that surpasses all understanding…”  (Exhale) “Guide my mind and heart in Christ Jesus, our Lord…”  After several minutes of this practice, I felt balanced, at peace and empathetic.

2.  DO THE INNER WORK FOR OUTER RESULTS

Once I was back to homeostasis, I was able to begin the the practice of svadhyahya (“self study”).  I realized that the reason why I reacted so intensely to a comment made by a complete stranger was because I felt threatened and attacked for the negative tendencies of my enneagram type.  I allowed her biases to cause within me a growing desire to defend myself and retaliate against what I saw to be an expression of her own perceived superiority.  I also realized that because I hold myself to a standard of inclusivity as a Yoga Teacher and Meditation Coach, I expect others in the field of therapy and wellness to live by the same standard.  In a perfect world, all Yoga Teachers, Meditation Coaches, Life Coaches, Typology Coaches, Counselors, etc. would leave their biases out of their professional platforms; but I know that we’re all in this process of growing and getting closer to our authentic selves.

The more I thought about the challenges and hurdles she might have had to overcome in her life, the more compassionate I felt towards her.  With a peaceful heart, I was able to pray for her journey to bring her closer to who God has created her to be and for her to be blessed in her life.

Next time you’re in a situation where you feel offended or angry, I encourage you to go against your desire to fix them; Instead, choose to fix yourself so that you can enjoy the rest of your day.  🙏


 

With Gratitude,
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Missing a Streak

I’m not sure when the word Streak became a term to describe how many consecutive days you’ve been on a particular app (in high school, “streaking” meant something completely different), but I’ve become pretty obsessed with my Streak on the Bible App.  Even though I don’t always use the Bible app for my quiet times, I log into it daily to look up certain scriptures or to follow along during sermons.  It’s a very useful app, and I enjoy logging in daily to keep my Streak growing; but sometimes I forget to log in for a couple of days if I’m reading a spiritual book (these days, I’m reading more than one at a time).  This happened to me recently, and I got so annoyed that I missed a day, which resulted in losing my streak of triple digits!  “Hmm, that was an interesting reaction,” I thought to myself.

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts about Enneagrams lately.  Enneagram is a personality typing system, which is based on patterns of the way people perceive their environment and manage their emotions.  One of the common topic in these podcasts are the Why’s behind our actions, thoughts and feelings.  So with this recent reaction to losing my Bible app streak, I asked myself why it annoyed me and why it was so important to me that I keep up my streak.  It didn’t take long for God to reveal my heart behind my annoyance:  I was fixated on the quantity instead of the quality.  I felt a sense of accomplishment whenever I saw my Streak number go up even if I didn’t remember the scriptures that I read on the app.  Ouch!  This was very convicting to me!

Having a triple-digit (or more) Streak is not a reflection of an authentic discipleship.  My husband never uses a Bible app because he likes to have a physical Bible in his hands, which means even if he had the Bible app on his phone, his Streak number would always be at “1 Day”; but he is honestly one of the most genuine and authentic disciple of Christ that I know.  It is very common to see him reading his Bible and a spiritual book.  He goes on a couple of prayer walks every day.  He’s not someone with tons of “free time” either: He works full-time for a very big corporation, is finishing up his MBA degree, AND we lead a small group in our church.  He doesn’t do these things to increase his Streak or to validate his worth; He does it because he loves God and has a genuine relationship with our Father in Heaven.  His motivation is not public recognition but rather a recognition of his need for God.

It is important to do heart-checks on a regular basis because our flesh-nature easily loses sight of our authenticity in Christ.  According to James 1:23-25, “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.”  This ability to discern and examine ourselves will allow us to grow in our spiritual depth and authenticity in Christ… and in return, our souls will be refreshed.

“My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul.”
Proverbs 3:21-22a

Let us all strive to live lives of biblical and spiritual authenticity and not allow an app (or anything/anyone) to determine the progress of our journey with Christ. 🙏

With Gratitude,
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Hello 2021!

Happy New Year!  More than other New Year’s Day, 2021 seems to have brought more emphasis and excitement to many people.  Although no one is blind to the fact that COVID-19 remains to be the culprit of this global pandemic that we’re still in, it seems that most people are hopeful and optimistic about what this year will bring.  With this renewed hope, setting New Year’s Resolutions seems appropriate.  Through the years, my resolutions always included physical, emotional, mental, professional and spiritual goals… and this year is no different.


PHYSICAL GOAL:  TO GET TO MY OPTIMAL WEIGHT AND SIZE!

On January 1, I reached out to a health & wellness coach (and a very good friend of mine) named Vickie Griffith.  she is the creator of The Vickie G Method which is a individualized customized program of eating, exercising and wellness plan according to one’s metabolic type.  I have seen the results of her program in her clients for many years, so my husband and I signed up for her program.  My husband has the challenge of high metabolism (he has to work out to not lose weight) and I have the opposite challenge (especially since hitting my 40’s).  I will be writing about my journey in my future blogs, so stay tuned!  If you’re interested in finding out more about her program, you can contact her through her website (click here).  Tell her I sent you!  😉


EMOTIONAL GOAL:  TO BE MORE VULNERABLE!

Urrgh.  Sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to be vulnerable.  I’m really great at being open with what I’m thinking and feeling, but when it comes to that, “Here’s my heart; would you like to hold it?” kind of vulnerability, there’s a part of me that wants to reach for my place of stoicism.  When I was in my 30’s, I went to a therapist after my dad died of cancer.  During one of the sessions, I was telling her about a painful childhood memory.  After I finished talking, she asked me why I was smiling while I was telling her something that was so painful to me.  She said my words did not match my emotional expression.  So for the next two months, we talked a lot about my emotional disconnect.  The things we go through shape us, but they do not have to define us.  Since that time, I’ve been working on being more emotionally connected to my memories and expressing more empathy toward others.  It’s something I have to force myself to do.  In fact, it was beyond scary for me to write with such vulnerability in my book, “BE STILL: The Power of Biblical Meditation.”  This area of my life is a work in progress, so this continues to be one of my New Year’s Resolutions every year.


MENTAL GOAL:  READ ONE BOOK EVERY MONTH!

I have always loved reading.  I learned how to read at age 4, and the first novel I read was Gulliver’s Travels in Korean at age 6.  After I moved to the U.S. when I was 9, I learned English words by reading the dictionary and proper grammar through 80’s love songs (that’s when song lyrics were grammatically correct😄); but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve developed a tendency to reach for magazines or articles online due to time constraints.  Once podcasts became popular, I found myself listening to podcasts more and reading books much less.  My goal this year is to read one book each month.  I have two bookshelves in my home studio filled with books: Books on Bible devotionals, Christian living, health, nutrition, wellness, neuroscience, Yoga, meditation, etc.  I’ve only read about half of my collection, so I have more than plenty to read this year.  Currently, I’m reading “The Circle Maker” by Mark Batterson with a friend, “God’s Perfect Plan for Imperfect People” by Tom Jones with the DFW Church, and “Individualist (60 Day Enneagram Devotional): Growing As An Enneagram 4” by myself.  After I finish these books, I am planning on reading just one book per month.


PROFESSIONAL AND SPIRITUAL GOAL:  GET OVER MYSELF!

I’m a dreamer.  I like to dream big… but those big dreams also terrify me!  Before I wrote my book, I second-guessed myself and really struggled to get started.  It took me a couple of years after God put on my heart to write my book, to actually write it.  Well, this next dream is no different:  God put it on my heart to start a podcast about living in step with the Spirit around the same time He told me to write a book.  But because of my insecurities (same insecurities I mention in my book), I kept finding reasons why I shouldn’t start a podcast.  But God made it very clear to me late last year that I needed to GET OVER MYSELF because this isn’t about me, it’s about inspiring other Christians to move past spiritual stuckness and funk that we all go through from time to time… and glorify God in the process.  So I’m doing it!  I’ll be launching my podcast on March 2, 2021!  I’m nervous and excited, so please pray for me!  I’m sure I will be dedicating more than a few blogs to my journey in launching a podcast… so stay tuned!


“Pray as if it depends on God, and work as if it depends on you.”
Mark Batterson, “The Circle Maker”

 

With Gratitude,
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My Personality Type

Do you ever feel like you were going full speed ahead toward the light at the end of the tunnel for a while; and then when you get to that light, you come out of the tunnel, not knowing what to do next?  Well, this is how I felt last week.  This entire summer, I had been turning down pool time with friends and other weekday activities so that I can focus on completing my 300-hour Advanced Yoga Teacher Training (AYTT).  Last week, I found myself trying to fill my schedule with back to back things because that’s what I had gotten used to doing prior to graduating from the AYTT program.  I took on two more weekly vitual classes, and I got busy with researching for and booking our upcoming family vacation in December.  I also started catching up on some FaceTime chats with friends, took time to read a book, take a walk around the neighborhood, and taught a couple of virtual meditation classes for a healthcare company in North Carolina.  By the end of the week, I felt exhausted!

It is in my nature to just go, go, go.  It is also in my nature to be extremely lazy.  I tend to be an extremist, so balance is something I’m constantly working on.  So to create more self-awareness and balance in my life, I do what I always do:  I spent more time in meditation, prayer, and looking over at my bookshelves.  On my left bookshelf, I have my Christian Faith books as well as books on natural health, nutrition and fitness; on my right bookshelf, I have my yoga-related books which includes books on asanas (physical postures), meditation, and yoga philosophy as well as books on neuroscience and energy science.  Whenever I start to feel an imbalance coming on, I usually pick up one (or more) of these books and read either the entire book or use it as a reference to help inspire or ignite something in me that helps me feel refreshed.  Anyway, I had been glancing at my book on Enneagrams for several days, so I finally went online and took a quiz.  I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, but my Enneagram Type is Four, “The Individualist.”  It was really interesting how accurate it was, but the struggles of a Type Four were humbling.  According to Enneagram Institute, Type Fours feel different from everyone (that’s me), and they struggle with the fear of having no identity or personal significance (also me).  There are many other accurate things on that list, but I am grateful that through my faith and my purpose in life (which I discovered during my journey in Yoga and Meditation), I don’t struggle as much with other things on the list such as low self-esteem and negative self-image.  Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle from time to time with my physical appearance just like anyone, but I have — for the most part — learned to accept and love the way that God has created me.

It is so important to take time out for self-assessment.  More than ever, it is so important that we stay connected with how we feel, what we think, and who we truly are.

What’s your Enneagram Type?  I’d love to hear from you!

 

With Gratitude,
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