Month: March 2021

Bible, Christian, Lifestyle, Self Improvement, Self-Discovery

Know Thyself

by JheniLeave a Comment on Know Thyself

Have you ever met a person who just seems to have no self-awareness?  Of course, there are the obvious indications of behaviors that lack self-awareness, such as arrogance, obnoxiousness, and hypocrisy; but today, we’re going to look at three subtle forms of lacking self-awareness and how they may apply to anyone (including myself):

1. TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF TOO MUCH

I grew up as a performer.  I’ve been acting, singing, dancing and playing the piano since I was in Kindergarten.  Not that I was ever famous, but I’ve had my share of strangers coming up to me after performances to chat. I remember this one time where two ladies came up to me after I performed a song I wrote for a women’s event.  They were very generous with their compliments and asked me questions about my musical training and some general questions about my life.  I walked away from that conversation feeling great… until that evening.  I thought to myself, “I don’t know anything about those two wonderful ladies that I talked to today.”  I realized that I missed a great opportunity to know about their lives and a chance to learn from them (we can learn something from everyone we meet).  So, now I have a rule that I follow: When people ask me questions about myself (especially people that I meet for the first time), I make it a point to ask them questions as well.  I also make sure that I end my responses within 3 minutes.  Lastly, if I notice that the only voice I’ve been hearing for the past 5 minutes is my own, it’s time to wrap it up and ask others some questions about them.

“Proud fools talk too much…”
Proverbs 14:3a

2. NOT KNOWING THE RIGHT TIME OR THE PLACE

Oh boy.  This sums up my adolescent years.  I used to throw out my opinions to anyone and everyone, whether or not they asked for it.  I once talked about a cute boy at a memorial.  I wanted to hang out with my crush during lunch at school instead of being there for my friend whose dad was hospitalized. (My excuse was that she said she wanted to be alone, even though I knew she didn’t really want to be alone.)  I would bring up an inside joke to my friend, knowing well that the girl standing right by her was already feeling left out.  I was very immature as a young teen.  As I became a young adult (age 19 or 20), I was confronted (in a very loving way) by some great friends about my behavior and how it affected people.  When I stepped back and imagined watching myself acting this way, I was mortified!  I realized that what I did and said — good or bad — had a lasting affect on people.  From that point on, I decided that I was going to err on the side of consideration and not assume that “it’s no big deal.”

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”
Proverbs 18:21
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…”
Galatians 5:22-23a

3. ENGAGING IN NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

This one may seem odd to be considered not having self-awareness; but when we engage in negative self-talk, we’re no longer aware of the truth about who we are.

The other day, I was struggling with feeling like I’m worth anybody’s friendship.  Having had  a Birthday recently, I’ve received countless birthday wishes on social media, numerous text messages, a few Birthday voice messages (including an annual birthday song by one of my dear friends, musician Marcus A. Johnson), and even friends who insisted on taking me out to lunch.  As the day approached for my lunch dates with my friends, I started to wonder why they’re friends with me.  I thought to myself, “What do I really bring to the friendship?  They are such loving people who care about everyone. That’s probably why they consider me their friend.”  This thought began a downward spiral, down a rabbit hole of negative self-talk.  About 5 minutes into it (a lot of thoughts can occur in 5 minutes), I took a step back and assessed myself.  I became aware of who I am in Christ once again.  According to John 1:12, I am a child of God.  According to Romans 8:1, I am not condemned (therefore, I should not condemn myself).  According to Ephesians 2:10, I am God’s handiwork, created in Jesus to do good.  And according to1 Thessalonians 1:4, I am loved by God and have been chosen by Him.

Self-awareness isn’t just nurturing to our souls; it’s essential for our spiritual survival.  Without being aware of who we are in Christ, we can not be aware of our true selves as children of God. 

May we all walk in self-awareness on the road to our individual authenticity.

 

With Gratitude,
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Bible, Christian, Lifestyle, Self Improvement, Self-Discovery

My Day is Ruined!

by JheniLeave a Comment on My Day is Ruined!

It was just like other Sunday mornings where I’m trying to grab all my stuff to get into the car quickly so that my family and I can make it to church on time. The very last thing I do is to fill up my tumbler with hot water for my roasted dandelion tea (I stopped drinking caffeinated drinks, so dandelion tea has become my go-to drink in the mornings). After getting settled in the car, I took a sip of my drink and realized that IT WAS LUKEWARM!!! Actually, it was more on the cooler side than lukewarm. I immediately thought to myself, “Ugh! Now my day is ruined! Why wasn’t the water in the electric kettle hot?” But two seconds after my initial thought, I laughed at myself. I mean, how weak of a person am I that I’m going to let a lukewarm drink ruin my entire day? I visualized comparing the size of the cup next to the size of my day. 16 oz. to 24 hours. 16. oz. to 1,440 minutes. 16. oz. to 86,400 seconds! Is my life so insignificant that I’m going to let a 16 oz. beverage dictate an entire day?  How about you?  Do you allow one thing/person/situation “ruin” the rest of your day?

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.”
1 Corinthians 10:4 

Sometimes the “strongholds” we feel seem so much greater in significance or power.  Maybe you took a sip of your coffee/tea and noticed that it was the wrong temperature.  Maybe you received a text from a friend that left you feeling upset, annoyed or angry.  Or maybe you got cut off on the road and the other driver had the audacity to honk at you, yell at you or even give you a “hand gesture of disapproval.”  Maybe you felt wronged or disrespected.  Whatever the thing, person, or situation it may be, I invite you to ask yourself why you’re willing to give away your time, energy, and even your power over to something or someone.

One time, I was driving to an appointment and I started slowing down so that I can make sure I would not miss the driveway to the house.  Because it was a single lane road (going one way and another lane going the other way), the convertible behind me had to slow down… and he did NOT like that.  He decided to speed up and quickly drive around me.  As he cut me off, he gave me that famous three-finger salute and then peeled off.  At first, I got annoyed, but shortly afterwards, I prayed for him to make it home safely and that if he’s having a bad day, God would bring about a sense of peace in his heart.  I was amazed at how quickly I was able to let go of letting that ruin the rest of my day. 

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you…”
Matthew 5:44
“A man’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense.”
Proverbs 19:11 

So as we go into a new week, I encourage you to live a life of great significance… and a life that’s bigger than a 16 oz. hot beverage.

With Gratitude,
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Christian, Lifestyle, Self Improvement, Self-Discovery

Who Am I?

by JheniLeave a Comment on Who Am I?

My Birthday is approaching.  In 3 days, I will be taking another step toward turning half a century.  If you’re wondering, I will be 47 years-old!  I’ve always looked forward to my birthday every year because there’s a certain wisdom that can only come from living life year after year; but 47 is hitting me in a different way because this is going to be a year of transition in my life as a mother.  My daughter is now driving her own car, making her own money, and she’s getting ready to do some traveling this summer without me or my husband.  The reality of her not needing me as much has hit me hard.  I feel as if I’m grieving the end of my daughter’s childhood.  I’m grateful for the fact that she is responsible, mature and has good sense of judgment; but — just like any good parent — there’s a part of me that wants to protect her from all harm.  So as I live this year of transition, the one question that keeps repeating in my mind is this: Who am I?

If you asked me who I was in the first 27 years of my life, I would’ve said, “I’m a dancer.”  After I got married, my identity became “Shawn’s wife.”  Two years later, I became “Jade’s mom.”  It seems like whatever/whoever took up most of my time became my identity.  I’m pretty sure that when I was in the corporate world, my identity was “Business Analyst,” “Project Manager,” or “Corporate Policies and Procedures Writer.”  But are any of these identifiers who I really was (or am)?

You may be surprised that I didn’t say, “I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.”  I’ve always believed that me being a Christian/Disciple was a given and that I wouldn’t even have to say that, kind of like how I don’t need to say I’m Asian because I think that’s pretty obvious (see my photo on the left 😆).  If I said, “Hi, I’m Asian,” when meeting someone, they would probably be confused since that’s obvious, or they may just wait for a punchline.  So what is the correct way to identify myself?  How about my name?  Am I Jheni?  Not quite.  

The names we go by serve as identifiers to establish individuality and uniqueness; but our names are not who we are.  I may also be a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a friend, a student, a teacher… but none of these are who I am either.  These roles that we play here on earth are all temporary.  As I peel off the layers of temporary earthly roles and tangible titles, I am reminded that who I am is not the body that I reside in; the body that I get to live in is a vessel for who I really am, which is a spirit; and that spirit — which is the core of my truest form — belongs to God because I was created by God.  A song that comes to mind is Hillsong’s “Who You Say I am” (here’s part of the song):

Who the Son sets free, oh is free indeed. I’m a child of God, yes, I am.
In my Father’s house, there’s a place for me. I’m a child of God, yes, I am
I am chosen, not forsaken. I am who You say I am.
You are for me, not against me. I am who You say I am.

When I get tempted to focus on things that bring me immediate — but temporary — security and identity (such as trying to hold on to a youthful appearance, exercising to get back to the size that I was during my physical best, etc.), I remind myself that, “though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 10:16) 

So who am I?
I’m a Child of God, yes, I am.

 

With Gratitude,
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Christian, Enneagram, Lifestyle, Meditation, Self Improvement, Self-Discovery, Yoga, Yoga Philosophy

Deactivating an Emotional Bomb

by JheniLeave a Comment on Deactivating an Emotional Bomb

Enneagram is a personality typing that  dives deep into one’s core motivations, fears, passions (tendencies that get you farther away from your authenticity), etc.  I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts about enneagrams (my favorites are Typology, Your Enneagram Coach, and The Enneagram Journey), but the other day, I decided to watch a YouTube video by a personality typing coach who I haven’t heard of before… and half way into it, I regretted my decision.

She started out with some great information (which I had already learned from my personal enneagram studies), but then she started to make harsh comments about a certain enneagram type.  Her tone was very condescending and downright mean.  She even went on to say that she knows she’s harder on Type 4s because of some character things that she sees in herself that are Type 4 characters and that it makes her mad and frustrated.  I kept on watching, hoping that she would turn it around… but it just kept getting more and more offensive to me, so I stopped watching it.  I was so upset that I could feel a knot forming at the center of my chest.  I had to stop everything I was doing and become still to do some inner work:

1.  BREATHING PATTERNS DON’T LIE

I closed my eyes and focused on becoming present:  I allowed myself to become aware of the ground underneath my feet that supports my entire body up to stand.  I then moved on to the awareness of my breath.  I felt the cool air going in to my nostrils and then going out of my nostrils.  I created an evenness in my breathing (inhales become the same length as the exhales), and then focused on the rise and fall of my belly while I consciously stopped my shoulders and chest rising each time I inhaled. (When we’re under any type of stress, our sympathetic nervous system gets activated and increases the cortisol level; these factors cause our bodies to become tense and start taking shallow breaths in the chest and not the diaphragm.)  Next, I placed my hands over my heart to send it energy of healing.  (The power of visualization is quite amazing.)  Lastly, I breathed in God’s Words in Philippians 4:6, as I chanted silently: (Inhale) “Peace that surpasses all understanding…”  (Exhale) “Guide my mind and heart in Christ Jesus, our Lord…”  After several minutes of this practice, I felt balanced, at peace and empathetic.

2.  DO THE INNER WORK FOR OUTER RESULTS

Once I was back to homeostasis, I was able to begin the the practice of svadhyahya (“self study”).  I realized that the reason why I reacted so intensely to a comment made by a complete stranger was because I felt threatened and attacked for the negative tendencies of my enneagram type.  I allowed her biases to cause within me a growing desire to defend myself and retaliate against what I saw to be an expression of her own perceived superiority.  I also realized that because I hold myself to a standard of inclusivity as a Yoga Teacher and Meditation Coach, I expect others in the field of therapy and wellness to live by the same standard.  In a perfect world, all Yoga Teachers, Meditation Coaches, Life Coaches, Typology Coaches, Counselors, etc. would leave their biases out of their professional platforms; but I know that we’re all in this process of growing and getting closer to our authentic selves.

The more I thought about the challenges and hurdles she might have had to overcome in her life, the more compassionate I felt towards her.  With a peaceful heart, I was able to pray for her journey to bring her closer to who God has created her to be and for her to be blessed in her life.

Next time you’re in a situation where you feel offended or angry, I encourage you to go against your desire to fix them; Instead, choose to fix yourself so that you can enjoy the rest of your day.  🙏

 

With Gratitude,
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Bible, Current Events, Lifestyle, Self-Discovery, Texas

Humanity in the Eye of the Storm

by JheniLeave a Comment on Humanity in the Eye of the Storm

I’m a frequent visitor of Wikipedia.  I also donate to the Wikimedia Foundation Inc., which is the non-profit organization behind Wikipedia.  I will explain why I mention Wikipedia after the following Disclaimer 😆:

DISCLAIMER:
Because of my financial situation (my wellness business took a big hit due to the pandemic), I have to be selective of which non-profits I donate to, but I make sure I donate a portion of my income to the causes that I strongly believe in.
(Please do not contact me to ask for donations at this time.  Thank you.🙏)

Did you know that the recent winter storm from a couple of weeks ago already has a page on Wikipedia?  It’s titled, “February 13–17, 2021 North American winter storm.”  According to this article, the winter storm — unofficially known as “Winter Storm Uri” (I call it SNOVID-21) — affected many states across the U.S., with Texas experiencing the worst of it.  (I’m bringing it for a landing here now…)  Being that I live in North Texas, I was part of the millions of Texans that experienced rolling power outages, no WiFi, spotty cell reception, several days of below freezing temperature, frozen pipes, and other related situations that come with living in a state that was not built to handle such freezing weather. 

But in the midst of it all, I had some great realizations about myself and my community.

I woke up on Monday morning to a very cold house.  My face felt frozen, so I immediately buried my face under the thick blanket that was over me.  My husband walked in shortly afterward to tell me about the power outages and that our heater was acting up.  The next several days consisted of us having to manually turn the heater back on every time the power came back on (which resulted in a couple of sleepless nights as my husband and I took turns staying up to reset the heater throughout the night).  Because we had power for about 45 minutes on and 90 minutes off, we would take every “power-on” opportunities to boil water, cook meals (thank God for our Instant Pot!), and recharge our cell phones (mainly to use as flashlights).  I also took advantage of daylight to finish reading my January book, and I even started reading my February book (My goal is to read one book every month). It was a very uncomfortable week and consistently wearing four layers of clothes, but it was also a week of slowing down and detoxing from electronics.

I was reminded that electronics can distract me — more than I realize — from completing tasks and accomplishing goals.

I also saw some amazing hearts of service come out of many people. I had neighbors clearing snow off of people’s driveways (including the driveway of an elderly couple), some risking their safety by driving through multiple cities (in the snow) to collect warm clothes for those in shelters, and hosting friends and family who lost power completely.  I saw post after post from people on NextDoor, Facebook and Instagram, offering whatever resources they had to anyone that may be in need.  This reminded me of what the First Century Christians did in Acts 2:44-45:

“All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts…”

It was a week I will never forget.  My heart goes out to those who lost their loved ones due to the Winter Storm as well as those still recovering from the damages that the freezing temperatures left behind.  But in the middle of tragedies and losses, I’m grateful and proud to be a part of a community that bands together and looks out for each other.

When things get tough, may we all step up to extend our love and service to those in need.

 

With Gratitude,
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