Month: April 2020

Lifestyle, Self-Discovery

Adventures of Moving Across the Country

by Jheni2 Comments on Adventures of Moving Across the Country

I’m no stranger to major moves.  I’m not talking about moving from city to city; I’m talking about moving from one coast to another.

I grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles, CA.  I went to elementary, jr. high, high school… and even college in the suburbs of Los Angeles.  I loved living in L.A. and absolutely loved the beautiful weather, busy-ness of the city and experiencing celebrity encounters at the local Whole Foods, coffee shops and… well, anywhere!  I’ve seen Alec Baldwin, Jane Seymour, Christina Applegate, Jenny Garth, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, etc.  I was even good friends with some well-known artists, actors, dancers and models (which I will not name because that’s irrelevant to this blog).  L.A. was everything to me… until it wasn’t.

After I got married and had a baby, my husband and I desired a different life for us as a family.  We wanted to raise our daughter in a slower-paced and a more family-oriented environment.  At that time, one of my best friends and her family decided to move to Dallas, TX.  I had no idea what Dallas was like (I assumed it would be like the TV Show Dallas, which cowboys and rich southern folks), but we wanted to visit them… so we flew out to Dallas to see them and to determine whether or not it would be a good city for us to consider moving to.  Less than six months after visiting them, we packed up our car and drove almost 1,500 miles to our new home state.  We loved being Texans and raising our daughter around southern hospitality and manners (I quickly got used to being called “ma’am” and “Ms. Jheni” by anyone under 18).  I could not ever imagine leaving Dallas because it was everything to me… until it wasn’t.

After 9 1/2 years of living in Dallas, my husband and I felt called to go spiritually serve somewhere else, in some capacity.  To make the long story short, Charlotte, NC became the place we felt called to move to.  So in August of 2015, we flew out to Charlotte to check out the sister church to our congregation in Dallas.  We also realized that we had friends from our past that were now living in Charlotte as well, so it became a reunion visit.  By the end of our trip, we were certain that this was the place God wanted us to be in the next chapter of our lives.  Two months after our visit, we packed up once again and moved to our new home state of North Carolina.  I quickly fell in love with the beauty of North Carolina.  It was so cool to live in the state that I’ve only read about in Nicolas Sparks books. 😁  I was able to build my yoga and wellness business pretty quickly, and I was given the opportunity to teach yoga and mediation at the Southeast Women’s Retreat to over 800 women.  My husband and I started volunteering as Teen Workers, mentoring teens in The Charlotte Church Youth and Family Ministry.  I also got to serve in the Worship Team as a vocalist, and I had the opportunity to perform with the Dance Ministry dancing ballet, contemporary, jazz and hip-hop.  By the end of last year, I could not believe how I was living my dream life:  Teaching Yoga classes so close to my home (one facility was 12 minutes away, and the other facility was literally 3 minutes down the street!), becoming a certified group pilates instructor, debuting my first published book, teaching workshops in-state and out of state, still homeschooling my daughter, enjoying long walks with my husband…  I couldn’t have asked for anything more… or could I?

Even though I was grateful for my life and the capacity that my family was able to serve in the community and in our church, we felt a certain pull back to Texas.  We tried to ignore it for many months, but we came to the decision as a family to move back to Dallas.  One of the reasons why is because my daughter wants to go to a university in Texas (in-state tuition is much more favorable).  Another reason is to be closer to our families in California (we didn’t realize how much more challenging — and more costly — it would be to fly from North Carolina to California).

So here we are — April 27th, 2020 — driving back to Dallas, TX.  Some would question our choices: I’m sure some people would call us transient souls, but I prefer the term adventurous.

Next week, I will let you know how our move in the midst of COVID-19 went!

 

With Gratitude,
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Lifestyle, Self Improvement, Self-Discovery, Self-Publishing, Teacher Training, Yoga

The Process of Transformation

by JheniLeave a Comment on The Process of Transformation

Last week, I talked about the cost of discipline and how creating a habit takes more than 21 days like many of us had been previously informed.  Although the being disciplined is not the most fun or comfortable route to take in life, it is the more productive choice and an essential decision to make in order to improve who we are.

I used to teach a 200-Hour Yoga Teacher Training program which would take 9-10 months for my students to complete.  On the first day of the program each year, I reminded my students that becoming a certified yoga teacher is secondary and that the self-transformation through the process is the primary benefit that they will experience.  At the end of the program, they have all agreed that they’re not the same person that they came in through the door on the first day.  I’ve had students that seemed to be polar opposites or conflicting personalities become best friends by the end of the program.  I’ve had students who seemed to “have it all together” break down and experience a sense of authenticity and vulnerability that they say they’ve never felt before (you can read more about it in my book, “BE STILL: The Power of Biblical Meditation“).  I took a break from running my 200-Hr YTT program last year so that I can focus on publishing my first book, and I am in the process of writing my second book which will be completed either by the end of this year or the beginning of next year; but once I am ready (and my schedule allows me to commit to teaching 200 hours), I will resume teaching my program… in Texas!  (Check out my blog next week for details on Texas.)  Now getting back on topic of transformation…

The reason why my students experienced a transformation is because they committed to learning how to be a good teacher; and part of being a good teacher is to be a good student.  Yoga is not something you can teach or regularly practice half-hearted.  Being a Yoga Teacher means you are also doing the work to get deeper in your journey towards authenticity.  As a teacher to future Yoga Teachers, I always say that I am not an expert as there really is no such thing (that’s why it’s called a Yoga Practice, not Yoga Perfection).  Even the greatest gurus in Yoga are learning and growing.  With learning and growing comes discomfort, facing your fears, and doing the work necessary to heal from past hurts, traumas and tendencies that do not serve us for our highest good (which is to meet who you were created to be since the beginning of creation itself).  I have had to face many obstacles (pride, bad habits, fears, etc.) in order to change and to grow… so that I can continue to change and grow.  We must be intentional about constantly transforming to be better versions of ourselves.  We never stay the same;  We’re either striving to get better or allowing ourselves to get worse.

The process of transformation is hard, and it won’t happen overnight; but if you keep persevering and staying disciplined, you will be able to look back and see how much you have grown!

 

With Gratitude,
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Lifestyle, Self Improvement, Self-Discovery

The Cost of Discipline

by Jheni1 Comment on The Cost of Discipline

Let me just start out by saying I don’t like discipline.  I don’t like it, I’ve failed at it, and sometimes I fight it… but I know I need it and thrive in the middle of it.  I used to believe in the saying, “It takes 21 days to form a new habit.”  I found that I can stick to doing something for 21 days… only to lose it all on the 22nd day.  I would end up feeling like a failure and have — on many occasions — thrown in the towel, convinced that I’m a lazy person who can never become a disciplined person.  If you can relate, I have great news for you (and me):  YOU’VE BEEN MISINFORMED! 

According to a research conducted by Dr. Phillippa Lally, a Health Psychology Researcher at University College London, it takes an average 66 days to form a new habit!  A habit is defined as “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.”  Since our tendencies are automatic (we don’t have to consciously make a decision to do or act a certain way), it is safe to say that in order for us to create a new habit, we need to be disciplined in our consistency for an average of 66 days.  How many of us can admit that we’ve expected results after just a few days or weeks?

Person Raising Hand: Light Skin Tone on Apple iOS 10.2
Yep, that would be me.

So knowing this fact, I need to commit to being uncomfortable in discipline for at least 66 days.  One of the reasons why I blog every week — even though I don’t have thousands of subscribers — is for my own discipline.  I’m still waiting for it to become automatic, but maybe I have to write 66 weeks of blogs before it does become more natural.  No matter what though, I know that the alternative to being disciplined is far worse than persevering through the tough moments.

“We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret and disappointment.”
– Jim Rohn

My greatest desire is to live without regrets.  Not that I won’t have things I wish I did different in my life, but I don’t want to choose things in the present moment that will cause regrets.  I want to choose things that will create gratitude and a sense of satisfaction knowing that I chose things that were good and honorable.  I also want to choose discomfort in the present moment so that I can see my dreams and goals come to life… and by practicing discipline, I know my character and heart will be transformed so that I can handle the blessings and the fruition of my dreams (more on the topic of transformation next week).

 

Have a great rest of the week, and I hope that by June 17th (66 days from now), you and I can both enjoy the new habits we have created by choosing discipline.

 

With Gratitude,
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Lifestyle, Self Improvement, Self-Discovery

What is Success?

by JheniLeave a Comment on What is Success?

SUCCESS.  I feel like it’s such a loaded word.  For some, “success” can mean accomplishing a measurable goal such as having a career that puts you in the Top One Percent Earners in the country or winning the Nobel Prize.  For others, it can mean crossing everything off on their Bucket List.  Whatever you consider to be “success,” we generally want it right away and without any setbacks.

“Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm.”
– Winston Churchill

I experienced many setbacks, and I decided way too often that the setbacks were failures.  I hated failing.  I used to hate failing because of my performance-oriented nature.  I hated not achieving certain goals right away.  I was also a people-pleaser, so I would hate feeling like other people saw me as a failure.  In my early 20’s, I went from job to job while many of my friends were already set in their careers or pursuing their Masters Degrees.  Career wise, I felt directionless when I quit dancing professionally.  I think my 23rd year was probably the toughest year for me in regards to feeling successful because I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to pursue, and I really felt that I couldn’t be considered successful unless I was making a lot of money and in a “career,” as opposed to living paycheck to paycheck working a “job.”  And through all this, I lost a lot of enthusiasm.

After struggling financially for a couple more years, I got a job at Washington Mutual (which was later bought by JPMorgan Chase) in California as a Foreclosure Specialist (I basically acted as a liaison between the mortgagors and the attorney’s offices).  My favorite part of the job was when I was able to forward mortgagors’ files to the department that handled repayment plan set-ups because that meant the customer would not lose their house.  I made a decision to work hard and have integrity in what I did, which led to opportunities for promotions.  I was promoted to a Business Analyst role and then eventually to a Project Coordinator.  To make the long story short, by the time I left the mortgage industry, I was a (very high-paid) Senior Technical Writer.  I left my career to homeschool my daughter who was about to go into the second grade at the time.  I went from making the most I had ever made to making nothing. 

In my blog last week, I said,

“If you don’t succeed in your definition of success, know that IT IS OKAY.”

It took me many years to get to that point.  By the time I left my career as a Senior Technical Writer, my definition of success had changed.  When I was in the corporate world, my definition of success was making a lot of money and having a very important role where I was highly valued.  But as my desire to homeschool my daughter grew, that was no longer my definition of success.

In my former definition of success, I would consider myself unsuccessful; but in my current definition of success, I AM THERE!!!  I currently make way less than 25% of my former salary (much less right now because of the current Coronavirus Pandemic), but I love that I get to determine my work schedule (as a Wellness Entrepreneur, it is so important to stay disciplined with my schedule – more on this topic next week), homeschooling my daughter and having fun together (she is now finishing up her sophomore year in high school)… and I get to spend some quality time with my husband when he isn’t working from home or studying for his MBA.  I also get to help people for a living.  I get to help people slow down and be present through Yoga and Meditation. 

Does your definition of success include intangible things, such as your level of gratitude, compassion, joy, or ability to love deeply?  During this time of self-isolation, my hope for you is for you to do (or continue to do) some inner work in order to achieve success that is great and long-lasting.

Have a great week!

 

With Gratitude,
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