As the final part of my 4-part series about “Things I Learned from My Best Friends,” I am dedicating today’s blog to all of the guy best friends that I’ve had throughout my life; but before I introduce you to all of them, let me give you a little background of why I had so many guy best friends.
I was born into a familial generation of all boys. I have an older brother and, other than one older female cousin, all of my cousins – not counting 2nd or 3rd cousins – were boys. In the Korean tradition (at least when I was younger), your cousins are your best friends. So, whenever we had family gatherings, I was the only girl under the age 16. I got along with most of my cousins, so I became comfortable being the only girl in a group of many boys. Once I got over the socially awkward stage of being a pre-teen, I found myself gravitating toward guys for friendship once again.
I met M.G. in my geometry class during my sophomore year. I immediately developed a crush on him for his good-looks, quiet nature and the fact that he was an athlete. I made it very obvious that I had a crush on him by writing him notes and always finding ways to talk to him or flirt with him. Being that he did not feel the same way towards me, I decided that I’d rather have him in my life as a friend than nothing at all… while secretly hoping that I could win him over. About a year into our friendship, our feeling for each other became mutual, and we officially became a couple in the beginning of our junior year. We dated until the end of our college freshman year, and although we tried to stay friends, we just couldn’t make it happen. I was sort of the wild child who preferred to go clubbing while he was the down-to-earth, “dinner and a movie” type of guy. We were each other’s first love, so we made a lot of mistakes… but I’m so grateful for the lessons I learned while he was in my life. One of the greatest things I learned from having M.G. as my best friend was appreciating the simpler things in life.
J.K. and I started hanging out toward the end of my sophomore year. We both attended summer school (He was taking a class to get ahead academically while I was there to re-take Geometry because I got a D; I guess I should’ve paid attention in class instead of staring at M.G. and writing him notes 😬), and we just somehow ended up in the same group that would hang out in between classes. He was every girl’s confidant; but he wasn’t “friend-zoned” because of his looks or social skills. In fact, he was quite good-looking and had a great personality. (And he did have plenty of girls that had crushes on him; I just wasn’t one of them probably because I was hung up on M.G.) He became the guy that I would always call to vent about all my boy drama, and he would patiently listen and — without being judgmental — give me great advice. We still keep in touch, and it warms my heart to get a text message from him once in a while. I will forever be grateful for having him as one of my high school best friends and for his example of being grounded and emotionally consistent.
I met J.C. shortly after I became a Christian in college. We were part of the same campus ministry, and we became best friends instantly. We talked about everything and anything, and I felt safe and secure in my friendship with him. Just like J.K., he was very emotionally stable, sweet, and a loyal friend. Whenever I was feeling sad about anything, he would play his guitar for me… and from time to time, I was successful at getting him to sing for me too! I felt very protective of him, so I became that friend who would approve or disapprove of any girl that he was interested in. (When he met his future wife, I was so happy for him because she is one of the few girls that I approved of for him!) The word that comes to mind when I think of J.C. is faithfulness. He is a faithful Christian through and through, and I’m so grateful that we had the friendship that we did.
D.G. moved from our sister church in St. Louis to help strengthen the singles ministry in our church. One of my first memories of him is when he asked me out on a date… which I turned down because I had a boyfriend at that time! I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend a couple of months after, and during my time of healing, D.G. became my best friend. He was wise, fun and a great listener. We have experienced so much of our single lives together, and I was so happy to be the one to set him up with his (now) wife. It’s been a few years since I have seen him and his family as they live several states away, but I know that if I picked up the phone to call him anytime, we would just pick up where we left off. I learned many things in my friendship with D.G., but one word that pops up in my head is LOYALTY.
G.C. and I had been good friends since our college years, but it wasn’t until after college that we became best friends. He and I shared in our goofiness, sense of humor, and our love of salsa dancing. In fact, he is the one who taught me how to salsa dance in college! At one point, we became co-workers which actually strained our friendship temporarily (because we were constantly getting on each others’ nerves). But even through that challenging time, G.C. was there for me. Being that he was wise beyond his years (and a few years older in age and as a Christian), he saw past the temporary annoyance and extended grace and mercy in our friendship. I will always be grateful for his example of spiritual maturity… and teaching me how to salsa dance!
The final one on the list is Shawn. He needs no abbreviations because he is my husband. He is the perfect combination of all the good qualities in my previous guy best friends. He is uncomplicated and values the simpler things in life. He is emotionally consistent and grounded. He is faithful in every way. He is loyal. He is spiritually mature… and he let me teach him how to salsa dance! 😊 I can go on forever about my husband who is truly my better half… but I will save that for a future blog!
As I end my 4-part series on best friendships, I can’t help but to feel grateful for having been blessed with some amazing people in my life who helped me change for the better!
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