Misunderstood? Me too!

As a kid in the 80’s, one of my favorite T.V. shows was reruns of Threes Company.  Being that I was a preteen and my English was my second language, a lot of the “adult humor” went over my head.  What I found so hilarious about the show was the physical comedy of Jack Tripper (played by John Ritter) as well as all the misunderstandings that caused 99% of the comedic drama among the main characters.  Of course by the end of the epidsodes, all misunderstandings were cleared up, everyone hugged it out and all was good in the world again.  In a perfect world, all misunderstandings would be cleared up in 30 minutes (minus commercial breaks), this unfortunately, this is not the case.

Last year, I wrote and published a book called, Be Still: The Power of Biblical Meditation.  It’s full of true stories from my own life as well as other people’s lives on how biblical meditation played a huge role in helping us heal from daily stressors, people-pleasing, childhood trauma, divorce, domestic violence, and death of loved ones.  The book also contains many techniques to help create stillness through scriptural yoga, pranayama (breath control techniques), and scriptural meditation.  I even recorded all of the techniques and provided links to each of them.  It took me six months to write/edit/design/publish my book (which you can read about in my previous blog, Indie-Author Do’s and Don’ts), and I was so excited to share it with the world!

The first month, I taught scriptural yoga and biblical meditation classes at a big women’s retreat in Asheville, NC where approximately 900 women from the southeast states attended.  I received many words of encouragement, gratitude and confirmation that I was doing exactly what God wanted me to do.  The second and third months were the same, where I was humbled at how powerfully God was using the book He commanded me to write.  But then January came, and I saw a one-star rating review on my book (you can read them on Lulu.com and Amazon.com).  I felt discouraged at first, not because I doubted the purpose of this book (which all glory was to God) but because I felt misunderstood.  There was a part of me that wanted to somehow contact the reviewer and say, “Wait a minute, let me explain and address all your concerns.  Let me explain to you all of my training and research on this subject.”  But then I took a step back to re-evaluate my heart.  I fully respect the reviewer’s opinions and therefore, I am completely okay with being misunderstood.

Everyone is allowed to have their own opinions whether they believe they are right and others are wrong.  It’s completely okay.  It’s okay that one person is a republican while their friend is a democrat.  It is okay.  It’s even okay that I use Yoga to get closer to God while a friend of mine believes that it is not of God.  IT IS OKAY.  It’s not my job to try to convince someone that what helps me will help them.  They have every right to their own opinions.  We waste so much time and energy on getting worked up about disagreements and misunderstandings.  There was a time when I would lose sleep over such things.  But at the end of the day, none of that matters.  Unless someone is asking me questions with the intention of wanting clarity, it is not my job to debate or provide proof of why I think “I am right and they’re not.”

There’s something freeing about living this way.  There’s such a feeling of lightness within the spirit when you’re not living to prove yourself to others but rather living to move closer to your authenticity.  So this week, I encourage you to practice being okay of feeling misunderstood.  Let other’s have their opinions about you because this does not change who you are.  Continue to shine bright for those who wish to be in your light.

 

With Gratitude,
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Dream + Intention + Action = Reality

I’m a dreamer.  I’ve always been a dreamer.  When I was young, I dreamed of dancing professionally, working in a corporate setting with an important title, starring/co-starring in a musical and being a teacher of some sort… which I had the blessing of experiencing all of them.  But I also have dreams that have not yet come true, such a becoming a rock star, a film actress, an acupuncturist, and a public speaker at a big conference of some sort.

I realize that I may never experience hundreds of thousands of fans singing along to one of my songs during my world tour.  I also may not walk the red carpet as I stop to pose for the photographers and be interviewed by correspondents from Entertainment Tonight before I make my way into the Academy Awards to take a seat next to my co-star.  I do, however, believe that I can become an acupuncturist and a public speaker at a big conference.  So why do I believe that the first two are probably not in my future but that the second two are?  The difference is ACTION.

Fulfilling the dreams of becoming a rock star and a film actress would be pretty awesome; but honestly, I don’t think I would be willing to pour my time and energy into going after these things.  (I do have an acting coach/mentor that I work with, but I act because I love it and not because I want to be famous.  But back to the topic of this blog…) Although I haven’t done it yet, I do believe that when the time is right, I will go back to school to become an acupuncturist as well as doing the necessary research and apply to become a speaker at a big conference.

When you have a dream without intentions and actions, you will see years pass by with those things remaining as dreams.  In the past decade, how many dreams did you start out with?  How many of those have come true, and how many are still dreams?  And of the ones that remain your dreams, are you taking actions to make those dreams a reality one day?

Dreams stop being dreams
when you make them a reality.

So practically speaking, how do you fulfill a dream?  I’m not an expert at this, but here’s how I go about fulfilling my own dreams:

1. Write down the dream.

Literally.  Write it down.  When I don’t write down my dreams, they stay in my brain for a while, and then they go away.  When I write them down, they begin to exist outside of your mind.
Example:  “I want to be a published author.”

2.  Come up with a plan.

2a)  First, start with writing down big milestone steps.
Example:  “I will begin writing my book on March 1st, finish by July 1st, have it edited by August 1st, have book cover designed by August 14th, submitted for print by August 31st and order books for my first book event by September 1st.”

2b)  Next, fill in the action items and tasks within each milestones.
Example:  “I will write for 2 hours at Panera Bread on Wednesdays and 3 hours at the library on Thursdays.  I will reserve an AirBnB in Denton, TX to take a week-long sabbatical in June in order to focus and make significant progress in my writing.  I will schedule a photo shoot with my models for the book in July.  I will research book cover designs and decide on how I want the cover to look like.  I will write the back cover content by August 14th.  I will save up money to purchase enough copies of the book for my first book event in October.”

3.  Start taking action!

Take what you wrote down in step 2 and do them! 

 

As 2019 comes to a close, get ready for the new year and the new decade(!) with some dreams and goals by sticking to the plans you come up with, and continue to revisit the plan to make sure you are staying on target to complete the tasks necessary to fulfill your dreams without giving into distractions. 

 

With Gratitude,
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Drowning Out Distractions

I’ve traveled a lot this year. Since January, I’ve been to over 30 cities in six states (not including the stopover/layover cities), covering approximately 15,000 travel miles totaling 82 days.  Next year, I imagine I’ll be traveling just as much if not more. I love road trips with my family, flying across the country to visit family and friends, and I even love traveling for work.  Granted, I schedule my own out of town/state work trips which is such a blessing.  I also take work-related vacations in the form of sabbaticals.  This summer, I spent a week at an AirBnB in Denton, TX.  Other than my husband, no one else knew where I was because I wanted to take that time to rest and focus on my writing my book.  I needed to get away from my day-to-day living (aka distractions) in order to accomplish my goals.

Distractions are inevitable.

For a couple of months during the fall, a gardener would come by with his leaf blower to clear out all the leaves… right in front of the glass windows of the studio that I teach yoga classes at.  It never failed that he would come while we were in the middle of a class.  At first, I thought to myself, “Why can’t he come by AFTER my class ends?  Why does he always have to cause so much ruckus when we’re trying to practice yoga?”  And then I stopped and laughed at the irony of my thoughts.  Being that one of my goals as a Yoga Teacher is to help my students take the lessons they learn on the mat (in my classes), off the mat (into their lives), I told my students, “Do you see that man with the leaf blower?  Do you notice the distraction?  I invite you to acknowledge that this is happening at this present moment… and now, let it go.  Let go of the distractions and become present.”

It’s amazing how the brain is able to drown out distractions that we choose not to pay attention to.  Both my husband and daughter have the ability to study and work in the middle of a busy Starbucks and other places where there’s lots of noise.  I, on the other hand, prefer silence (or at least my earplugs) in order to focus; but there have been many occasions where I’ve engaged in deep conversations in the middle of a public space with many potential distractions.

According to an article in the Journal of Neuroscience (cited in Scientific American), the brain will intentionally weaken its response to things that seem less important so that it can become more sensitive in reaction to what you choose as the focus.  This is great news!  Since we now know this fact, all we have to prioritize and figure out what is truly important to us.  Once we establish our priorities and make conscious efforts to make those things important, the brain will do what the brain does by drowning out the distractions.

Just as I do in my yoga classes, I invite you to take a moment to drown out the distractions by sitting still, focus on your breaths by becoming aware of the rise and fall of your belly as you inhale and exhale.  Continue to observe the breath as you close your eyes for several breaths.  Once you open your eyes, continue to sit still and make note of how you feel.  Notice the beauty of living in this moment.

Namaste.

 

With Gratitude,
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Indie-Author Do’s and Don’ts

I wrote my first book in six months.

I didn’t really think this was a big deal until I started promoting my first book BE STILL: The Power of Biblical Meditation. One question I’m asked the most is, “How long did it take you to write and publish your book?” When I tell them that it took 6 months to write the book, 1 month to edit the book and 2 weeks to design the book cover, I’m usually met with a blank stare or a response like, “Oh my goodness. I’ve been writing my book for over 2 years!” I’ve also been asked about how I did it in less than a year. You can read about the approach I took in my last week’s blog, Dream Killers (And How to Overcome Them).

I wanted to focus today’s post on what I learned along the way of independently publishing my first book (to be completely transparent, I’ve only published one book so far; but I refer to it as my first book because I’m currently writing my second one). After doing some research, I knew I didn’t want to publish my first book the traditional way of getting a literary agent who will shop around for a book deal through a publishing company. I didn’t want to submit my manuscript to dozens and dozens of literary agents. I didn’t want to lose any creative control over the content of my manuscript. I didn’t want to wait a year (or more) before my book is published (provided that I could find a literary agent who would represent me). I didn’t dream of becoming a New York Times Bestseller Author, nor did I dream of becoming a millionaire through this book. I simply wanted to write. I wanted to obey God by writing this book that He put on my heart three years ago.

I’ve been writing my whole life. I learned how to read and write Korean when I was four years old. When my family and I moved to the U.S. when I was nine years old, I became fluent in English within a few years. I wrote all throughout my teenage years, and I became an A&E Editor for the college newspaper. I went on to become a Sr. Technical Writer for several Fortune 500 Companies. With my writing background and project management training, I was pretty confident that I could write and publish my book without any issues. I did publish my book independently before my self-imposed deadline, but here are some do’s and don’ts I learned along the way:

DO:
  1. Create an outline.
    I wrote out my chapter numbers and titles and created a preliminary Table of Content.
  2. Write down a timeline, milestones, tasks and resources.
    See last week’s blog.
  3. Write consistently.
    It doesn’t matter if you feel like you have a writer’s block. Write anything and everything. You can edit out irrelevant things later.
  4. Give yourself some “padding” time
    Allot extra time for the tasks in case unforeseen circumstances come up.
  5. Go easy on yourself
    Show yourself some grace if you don’t finish your tasks in the time frame that you had allotted… Because it will happen.
  6. Remove yourself from distractions.
    I did most of my writing at the local library and Panera Bread with ear plugs.
  7. Have a pre-order sale.
    Holding a pre-order sale started the buzz among my friends (and their friends) on social media not to mention some revenue even before the book was even published.
DON’T:
  1. Edit your own manuscript!
    Initially, my husband was supposed to edit my book (he also has a writing and editing background); however, he started his MBA program this year, so I knew that between his full-time job, MBA program and helping lead the Teen Ministry at our church (which I also have the privilege of doing alongside of him), it was unrealistic for me to ask him to edit my book.
    Because I had experience in editing books for other authors (I edited two books last year), I decided to take on this task. It took an entire month of editing over a dozen times (this includes line editing, content editing and copy editing). I printed the entire book three times before I was able to publish it (and even then, I missed one thing, which I have corrected after publication).
    It is one of the most time-consuming part of publishing a book, and I highly recommend that you get another set of eyes to fine-comb through your manuscript. For my second book, I plan to pay an editor to complete this arduous task.
  2. Bypass getting a group of beta readers.
    I got lucky in that my friend and mentor, Lisa Washington, wrote the foreword for my book. She read my book from cover to cover and gave me some great feedback. Lisa is a fellow yoga teacher and author. She is also a celebrity chef (you may have seen her on Food Network), CEO of B’Tyli Natural Skin Therapies, Life Coach, and a Cover Model among many other things. She gave me a lot of feedback on the content of my book, and having her become my beta reader allowed my book to be so much better than I had imagined it would be!
    Beta readers will be able to provide valuable feedback that will elevate the quality of your book content.
  3. Order too many books!
    I had several book events lined up a few months before my book was published, so I went ahead and ordered 600 books! I ended up selling about half within the first month (which is still very good), but the rest are in my garage where I grab a box whenever I go to my next book event (which I guess isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it probably want necessary to order so many books since there are many people who have purchased copies straight from the website).
  4. Take not enough books to your book events.
    I always take more books with me than the number of attendees. I’ve had several people buy 3-5 copies to give as gifts.
  5. Expect to sell millions of books within the first month (or the first year)!
    Unless you have a million friends and family, you probably won’t sell as many books as you may think.
  6. Sit around and assume people will buy the book through one post on social media.
    I had a lady who purchased my book after seeing about 15 posts about it. She said she kept forgetting to purchase my book, and she needed that 15th reminder to purchase it.
  7. Try to do this alone.
    Go to writer’s conferences, join Facebook groups, listen to podcasts, and become a part of the #writingcommunity on Twitter. We are all here to encourage, motivate, and lift each other up.

Happy Writing!

With Gratitude,

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