“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.” This is the beginning of the well-known Serenity Prayer which is used by many 12-Step Recovery programs. Ishvara Pradnihana is sanskrit for surrender.
In March 2019, I completed a 3-day leadership workshop called Y12SR (Yoga of 12-Step Recovery) in Charlotte, NC. I went into the training expecting to learn how to lead this program that’s available as a supplement to any 12-step recoveries in existence; however, what I quickly realized is that we’re all addicts to something because addiction is any urge that’s hard to control or stop. One of the topics we discussed that weekend was the concept of co-dependency. I would’ve never considered myself a co-dependent person, but my teacher Nikki Myers, explained that co-dependency is the most common addiction which is a belief of looking outside of ourselves – people, places, things, behaviors or experiences – to bring fulfillment and joy. This is also the base out of where all other addictions and compulsions begin.
When we become addicted to anything/anyone, we become unwilling to let go of the source of our addiction; What’s ironic is that we think this gives us more control, when in reality, our addictions end up consuming us. The only way to let go of this destructive cycle is to practice Ishvara Pradnihana. When we surrender our lives to God, we are waving our white flag and asking for Him to take complete control of our lives. In the scripture below, the king with ten thousand army of men represents me and the one with twenty thousand represents God:
“Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Won’t he first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace.”
Personally, I think control is overrated. Before I became a Christian, I tried to control everything in my life: I tried to control how close my best friends were to each other so that I can make sure none of them were closer to each other than they were to me. I tried to control my weight by starving myself and then purging out any amount of food I ate as well as exercising for 3 hours almost everyday. I so badly wanted to control every aspect of my life only to be sobered to the truth that I had no one to guide, direct or mentor me towards the life that I was meant to live. I lived a very fast life until I became a Christian at age 19. When I became a Christian, I felt so relieved that I could let God not only fix my life but take control of what my life was going to look like from that point on. Carrie Underwood sang it best when she sang:
Jesus, take the wheel. Take it from my hands,
‘Cause I can’t do this on my own.
I’m letting go, so give me one more chance.
And save me from this road I’m on…
Jesus, take the wheel.
There’s a sense of relief when we don’t have to be the Controller of everything. Surrender doesn’t mean that you do nothing; it means that you control only the things you can based on God’s Word — The Bible — and anything outside of your circle of control, you give it to God.
I live by three things when it comes to surrender: Resolve, Dissolve and Release. If I can resolve an issue biblically, I do it. Second, whether or not I was able to resolve it, I move on to dissolving it out of my heart through prayer and meditation so that I don’t hold onto to the stress and the toxic energy of bitterness. Finally, I release it by giving it to God. I say, “God, take it please. It’s now yours.”
I would like to leave you with the full version of the Serenity Prayer written by the Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr:
God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.